Great, I'm f*cked...Threw a rod...(bearing)

I hear you. But BMW has been making tangless bearing engines a long time. So, bearing crush must contribute somehow.
Absolutely, and I acknowledged that in both posts.

From my experience when the crush is gone, a spin is not far behind. I think the crush being gone, allows the bearing to collapse on the crank with no clearance. Then once enough material has been removed from the bearing, the tangs can get by their slots assisted by metal fatigue.

I am interested in seeing some of the BMW tangless setups, to understand them better. Are the big ends of the rods totally round in the bearing area?