Recent posts reminded me

Recent somewhat controversial posts reminded me of an ACTUAL event that occurred over 30 years ago.....it was pretty funny at the time so I thought I 'd share to see if this kind of humor stands the test of time....this is a true story

A couple of friends of mine Bob & Dianne threw a party....back then there really didn't need to be a reason...so it was just a "get together" BYO kinda party.

Background: This is all going on at a time when "implants" were growing in popularity....and the male half of this couple is an incurably funny and sarcastic guy, Di is a great sport and has a sharp wit herself, no slouch there.... but she has been known to fly off the handle on ocassion...Di is a self proclaimed charter member of the IBT club and jokes about it on a regular basis.... SHE also wants implants in a big way and has wanted them for a couple of years.... unfortunately both of them had been laid off earlier in the year and finances aren't conducive to any "extra" spending . OK stage is set

I am at the "before the party set up" and we are illing chip bowls and laying out prepared snacks.... some pretty typical male female conversation is going on between Bob & Di....Bob: "should we put the baked snaks over here or leave them in the kitchen for now?" Di: " I want implants !" you get the idea....so this goes on for about an hour and people start to arrive.......

Music is on, conversations are going, people are milling about....laughter can be heard everywhere...its a party!
(forgot to mention earlier that Bob is an avid hunter and gun collector and has quite a few of his collection proudly displayed on the family room wall.)

OK so the party is going on and different conversations can be heard..... and a few late arrivals start showing up....... the last of which is another couple Bill and Sandy..... Sandy is an absolute doll, good natured, screamin hot but was also a self proclaimed member of the IBT club...... key word WAS!
Sandy walks in the door and within moments every eye in the place is on her!! Her former lil girl look/figure has been replaced and I mean RE-PLACED!!
her negative A's are presently D's...... big round pointed D's!!!! HOLY CRAP!!!

This ( of course) sparks a hundred discussions and quite the party BUzzzzzzz
Being graduated hippies at the time and all the dedicated focus on her new endowments she showed them off..... I must say that Doctor earned his money! they were to say the least OUT-STANDING WAY OUT and STANDING UP!!
Needless to say Di was a lil provoked and essentially filled with envy ( insert 3 million girl reasons most of which I dont get) and that sparked a volly of sorties leveled at Bob..... Bob rolled his eyes and said "I love you the way you are" which to me was pretty good stuff....NOT to Di! she wanted to fill out her blouse and have some of that "baby's ***" cleavage!!!!

Eventually the party resumed with different conversations and milling about and the implant subject faded......... OR so we thought.... A few couples left and there were about 20 of us sitting around the family room as Di grabbed a tray of baked snacks and began walking around offering them to us..... the music had been turned down and the mood was drifting into relaxation and watching the new music videos on the NEW MTV! Di went around the entire room to each person and offered them a snack.....when she got to Bob she passed him by.....and put the tray back in the kitchen. Bob noticed that he was passed by and said "honey I would like a snack too".... Di said you don't deserve a snack.... Bob rolled his eyes and said OK OK and got up and left the room.....
This started a volly of wispering....WTF? where did he go? stuff like that..... quite a few minutes passed and Bob emerged into the family room.... in his has was..... A roll of toilet paper!!! He tossed the paper at Di and said "try this!" Di said "Bob you are an asshole, I am NOT gong to stuff my bra with TP....that is just stupid!!!" Bob said "no no.... rub it on" the room was getting quieter and people all had the look of what the hell is he talking about on their faces...... Bob said again: "RUB IT ON!" Di said "what in the hell are you talking about?"
Bob stood there...tall, with his legs slightly spread and his hands on his hips and said.......
" try rubbin that stuff on your titties....you have been rubbin it on your *** for 28 years and it MADE THAT BIGGER!!! "

it was like someone yelled out EF HUTTON... the whole neighborhood got SILENT......Hell I think southeast lower Michigan got quiet......

Di thought for a second, let the statement sink in and broke out laughing and snorting with tears rolling down her face..... she got up and Hugged Bob and said THAT is why I married you ...you asshole!!!

The rest of the room was still waiting for thermonuclear Holocaust ...caught us ALL off guard ...... Bob was one funny SOB...he is gone now but that story is part of his legacy and at the time blow food out your nose funny