Step Daughter problems (need advise)

dustermaniac said
Ah! The dreaded step daughter. I feel your pain. My stepdaughter was EXACTLY the same way as yours is at this time. Me and my wife have been at odds regarding my stepdaughter for years now. Felicia (stepdaughter) has lived in and out of our home several times up to this point. She was a good kid when she was a younger teenager (till 16) then the problems started. She does not listen to what she should listen to and has been pregnant 3 times now. She is now 24 and my wife and I have custody of her 1st born. the 2nd is in custody of a friend of my wife. She just had her 3rd last month and she has custody of the baby but she needs to be supervised at all times and adhere to court ordered programs to regain any chance of keeping this child. no matter the least getting the other two back. She has spent time in the streets and we had no choice but to put her out because of her behaviour. She has been diagnosed as severe adult ADHD, Bi polar and is on medication. Well she has finally started to get it that after she hit rock bottom that she needed to get her life together or she would end up dead or in jail. She did spend 3 months in jail for assaulting my other grandchild who was 3 at the tome. This is her brothers child which we also have custody of. I told my wife after several chances with this girl that I could not deal with her any more and we were forced to put her out. We have tried so hard with her and got her counseling services. gave her $ for her apartments, all of which she has been evicted from. She cannot hold down a job, and is now mixed up with a Mexican guy who does nothing to help her or the new baby out. I have kind of washed my hands of her at this point due to her constant drama and lies and stories. Sometimes tough love is the best thing. Tell her that she either needs to get it together or out the door you go. As cold as this sounds, it is sometimes your only option. My step daughter is currently trying to keep her apartment but I told her and my wife that I WILL NOT help her out financially. I just cannot do it. She is a big girl and an adult and needs to start to fend for herself. It is kind of sad because she was brought up right, but listens to her "friends" and always ends up on the losing side by the decisions she makes. All I can do now is pray for her. I have told her if i see progress from her and she is truly trying to maintain an apartment and a job, then I would be willing to help her out some. We will see......

Maybe the medication is not taking effect anymore and she needs a higher dosage? My daughter(whom i have custody) mom has bi-polar. It does not make me an expert on it, but it does let me see the side of bi-polar. The never holding down a job will be the rest of her life. There will likely never be a change. There are people with bi-polar that do make something of themselves.
I had to do major research on bi-polar from a court order so i could gain custody of my daughter because i would have to deal with the mom forever.
Does she go to her counseling programs? and talking to a psychologist? She first needs to gain control of that side of her life before she will ever understand herself and be able to somewhat control her choices.

My daughters mom thought it would be best to become a stripper because the money was easy to get. I have been told that if bi-polar is caught early enough it will be easier to control. Your grandchildren will have a 50% chance of having bi-polar. So keep an eye on it and watch the behavior. Getting professional help early enough may help the child in long term.

To help the mom she would need to do all the above in order to help herself in long term. She has to be supervised with my daughter at all times. That will likely never be dropped, due to the choices and lifestyle.