Frustration
There is no magic answer to this. I don't think you can justify the money and time on a rational level....it compares to owning a boat. If you divide the cost of boat ownership by the number of times you take the boat out, you would come out ahead chartering. So it's best not to think in those terms. Once you can take your car out on the road, you will feel better. So maybe focus on getting to that stage first.
We've all been there, it gets better....like a good friend told me "keep your chin up."