James Bond in a bar

James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to an attractive woman. He orders his usual martini "shaken, not stirred", then looks at the woman and then looks down at his watch. The woman asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No," he replies, "Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it.

Intrigued, the woman asks, "What does it do, Mr. Bond?"

"Well you see, it uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me."

"I see. And what's it telling you now?"

"It says that you are not wearing any panties."

"Well, it must be malfunctioning, because I'm afraid that I am wearing underwear."

James taps on his watch and says, "Bloody thing must be an hour fast..."