How to fill up without getting it on the damn car?

OK, so we all know the filler necks on these cars are about as different from today's average car as they can be. Instead of immediately going downward at about a 45-degree angle, they go straight in from the side of the car about 12 inches, then turn down into the tank inside the trunk.

With the nozzles now in use at more and more gas stations, that have the freaking collars that go damn near to the end of them, it creates a couple of issues.
One regional gas station chain that I frequent (Flash Foods) uses different styles at different locations. I don't think there's any reason for this, other than what was available when that station was built, regulations at the time, etc..
So at one location I go by (which is a newer station), they use nozzles that have a shorter collar. With this style, I can hold the nozzle to the side, and usually very little 'weeps' down the side, if any. The problem is that if I let it fill up all the way, I get a nice gush of gas down the side of the car, and of course there's about $2 worth of spilled gas.
At the location I use most, which is an older location, they use the nozzles that have collars almost all the way to the end. These are a *HUGE* pain in the ***. It doesn't matter what angle I hold it at. I get small amounts of gas 'weeping' out from around the collar, and if I try to pump it as fast as it will go, it always cuts off in like 2 seconds, so it takes forever.

What do you guys do to combat these 2 problems, short of converting to a B-body tank that exits behind the plate?
One of these days I'll get this thing painted, and I'll be damned if I'm going to have gas spilling all over a new paint job.