I don't know what to do.

gunbunny said
We've been to the Dr. She is on meds, trust me, they do help some. Of course she feels like she's leveled out and will quit taking them. That always leads to the spiral down turn.
I've tried talking to her till I'm blue in the face. Had a little sit down this morning in fact. She always tries to find a way to set blame on me. I keep telling her, there is no blame to be assigned, just be aware of what your doing or importantly, saying.
She is notorious for insulting people or saying something inappropriate. She sees no harm in that whatsoever.
I've thought real hard about taking some time out and just going away for a bit. Now I'll get accused of cheating. She thinks I'm driving up to Cleveland Oh, and messing around. She also thinks I'm doing this on my lunch break. I live and work in Cincinnati. Look at a map, that aint happening on a 30 lunch break. I don't really want to go to the P/O's EAP program they have. I don't know what you guys know about the PO, but they are truly assholes to work for. The less they know, the better off I am. My jumping out of airplanes is long over. The 20 yr old me had no respect for the 40 yr old me.
Fortunately, she doesn't drink. If she did that, I don't think I could have dealt with it. I grew up with an alcoholic, I refuse to live with that again. That was the single biggest reason I joined the Army.
We don't argue, mostly because I refuse to. I'll walk away and leave her to sit by herself. I keep telling myself, it's the disease, not her.
I do appreciate having this as a sounding board. Thanks guys.

I am retired (disability) from that rat hole. My former head doc was part of the EAP program, I happened to find him on my own. Got me a few free trips every year. Her stopping of the drugs is a normal thing for bi-polar folks, the drugs make you not you, if that makes any sense. Placeing the blame is also common. I used to do it. When you are in a foul, pissed off mood 24/7 it is tuff to accept that it could just be you. Every person I know that is bi-polar, myself included, try to blame others for every thing. It is just part of the disease. In my case I am always pissed off, and when someone does something I don't agree with, which is almost anything, I will point the finger at them for me being mad. Completely normal, at least for bi-polar folks. We just aint wired right, that is all there is to it. I control it by limiting my exoposure to people, as people generally piss me off. I recently befriended a neighbor, hoping that without working anymore I would be able to tolerate him. I don't see much of him, except for lately. And he is doing nothing but making my blood boil. Only difference with me is I know it is not him, it is just the way I am. When I get this way I just avoid him.
"She is notorious for insulting people or saying something inappropriate. She sees no harm in that whatsoever." Boy, does this statement sound familiar. She sees no harm in it because she does not look at life thru the same set of glasses as every one else. She, just like the rest of the bi-polar people I know, tends to live on her own planet. Abide by her rules, of which they change, sometime hourly, or get the hell off. All completely normal for a bi-polar peron. A while back I spoke to my very first girlfriend. Had not spoke to her in 20 years. I was dateing her right when my issues surfaced. And she got more than her share of my, well, crap. When I spoke to her she did not believe it was me, she made me answer all kinds of questions aobut the past. Difference between me now and then is acceptance. I know am bi-polar, and that being this way makes me very difficult to be around all the time. I may be way off base for saying this, but one of, if not the only thing that will make her change is her world falling apart around her. Worked for me. Now instead of venting my frustations on the person I love and adore, I turn it inside and let it tear me up. Don't sleep for days at a time. Spend many nights here in front of the computer, playing spider solitare. Go outside and watch the stars. But there is peace in my house. This may sound kind of goofy, but do whatever it takes to make your house more relaxed. Meditating worked wonders for me. I did not start it on my own. Went over to a buddies house that was a diehard beliver in the AA lifestyle. Walked in and he had some Native American dude playing a flute on the stereo, non scented candles and incense burning. And that was the begining of the change for me. Got to experience true peace for the first time. Not saying it is going to work, but I have suggested it for a few former friends from work and they all started to look at life a bit different.......