struggling with connecting the wiper rod...pics!

It sounds like you are trying to put a square peg in a round hole...
I had a similar problem when I was putting my '72 together. I ended up getting different linkage arms from a later car. I couldn't find any of the plastic bushings without the tab on them. That tab goes into a slot on the linkage arm.
I am not sure what was meant by the studs being straight with a groove in them, mine had a ball end which went into that plastic bushing.
C

You see the plastic bushing on the wiper motor arm?
That system uses exactly that same style hole an bushing on all 3 connection points.
Thats the wrong rod and bushing both that you bought.
Might be able to make the rod the same though by drilling the bushing hole if needed, and cutting the slot into the hole for the bushing.
All the slot does is keep the bushing from spinning inside the arm.
They are soft white plastic just like the one in the wiper motor connection in the picture.
The "help" section in most common chains like Checker and Autozone have them for about 2 bucks.