How to get rid of Telemarketers and debt collectors

I heard that some time ago. It is so hilarious, it's just unbelievable.

I used to screw with marketers back when "we" had landline phones

One night with my roomate, one of the endless religious nuts (Swaggart, etc) was on, so I called 'em up.

"Yeah, ya know, I've donated LOTS of money to you good folks, but now I'm having a pretty severe problem myself, I wonder, could you send some of that money back to me?"

The sidstepping, the excuses, the backpeddling is JUST incredible. Of course they "would pray for me."


In two calls, some I ask some woman "are you good lookin?" AMAZINGLY she says YES. So, "are you single?" YES

So I said, "why don't you give me a b*** job?"

"THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!!" she says

"Ya know," says I, "I think it's pretty damn dis gusting that you call me up when I don't wanna be bothered." (hangs up.)

One guy called about insurance

ME: "Oh, ya know, my wife would REALLY like to talk to you, she's been looking into this, but she's tied up right now, can you hold on?"

I push this out 2-3 minutes

"You still there? She's coming, be here in just a minute."

push er out ANOTHER 3 minutes, etc

"You still there? Listen, I don't know what in HELL I was thinking. I'M NOT MARRIED, I DON'T HAVE a wife, bye." (hangs up)