An accident report....

That's hilarious! I remember a 10th grade English teacher that we had that was more comedian than teacher...he told us the same joke and all these too..

They are actual statements taken from insurance forms where drivers tried to summarize accident details in as few words as possible!

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have!

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intent!

I was thrown from my car as it left the road, and was later found in a ditch, by some stray cows!!!

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I told the police I was not injured, but upon removing my hair, I found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him