Don't take offense, just enjoy the humor....

I met a beautiful Canadian girl years ago on vacation in the Bahamas who was from Smiths Falls, if I recall correctly. If she's still available for purchase I'd like to look into it. Think my wife would mind? Or should I emphasize that she'd be available to help with the domestic chores?

By all means.
Why would the wife mind? It eases her workload in every room of the house.
Check her teeth, pay a fair price, and enjoy your Canadian.