Quitting smoking.

I've quit smoking (gotten to the point of not clenching my hands any time I pay for gas because what I really want is to jump across the counter and start eating cigarettes off that rack until they tranq dart me) twice now. It's hard, the first time I did it I used baby carrots in a baggie. Any time I'd feel that f'n monkey screech for nicotine, I'd whip out a carrot. I got used to the bugs bunny jokes sooner than I got over the smokes but it was worth it. Ten years, ending up around two packs a day. Smoked when I woke up, ****... I'd wake up in the middle of the night to smoke. Took about two months to consider myself quit, took about five to really feel like a nonsmoker.

Then I let a bad breakup excuse me putting a butt back in my mouth, and it's been a longer trip this time, it really put the hooks. Even though I never got back to pack a day and I only daily-smoked for about seven months, it took me closer to a year to quit the second time.

So I guess what I'm saying is two things: 1 - Congratulations! You made it to two weeks., that is the hardest part. Once you make it to a month, you'll start noticing the way stuff smells again, and that's another fun encouragement to stay off. 2 - Don't ever put a cigarette back in your mouth again, not when you're cryin' over love nor worryin' over money. I believe there are certain people who can smoke a cigarette, think nothing of it, and put it down, never to think about it again. I am not one of those people. And after 44 years of pack a day, you ain't either. It had claws in you deep, and if you let it get them in again it will make you pay for it.