anybody got kids, past or present i got questions

My daughter learned very early not to play one parent against the other. She found out it only ended up bad for her.
Fast forward a few years...my daughter was 7 and my son was 2 when my ex-wife and I divorced and I was suddenly a full-time single parent. One thing that helped a lot was that both kids learned to count to three at a very young age. Why? When I wanted something done I asked the first time, that was "1"; if it didn't get done then they got told to do it, that was "2"; "3" was non-verbal and there wasn't a reminder before, just a swat on the backside that got their attention. After several times they knew I meant business when I said, "That's 'two'".
Another thing that helped immensely was to be firm yet fair, and above all, consistent. They learned they could always count on me and that I meant what I said, both good and bad.
Seven years later I remarried and then had to deal with something new - step-kids and a blended family. I won't sugarcoat it, it was difficult. New wife had a different philosophy in dealing with her two boys than I did with my kids. That and the fact that a step-parent rarely gets the respect given to a natural parent. I was tested many times and a lot of times had to eat my words and actions rather than say or do what I felt was right.
It may be difficult but it can be done. I still believe the fair-but-firm approach and complete honesty is best. Today both my kids are in their 30's, doing well and thank me for raising them as I did. My wife's sons are both hard-working, have kids of their own and are also doing well.
Together we must have done something right.
As said before, activities are also key. Although we did the usual Little League baseball and other things, my wife's sons chose to be more active with their natural father on the weekends he had them. All well and good.
My daughter was involved in dance and ice-skating when she was younger, but really shined in fast-pitch softball starting about age 8 through high-school and ended up with a full-ride scholarship to college from it so it was money well-spent. She was also involved in her jr. high and high school band Color Guard during those years. My son played Pop Warner football and Little League baseball. Keeping them active and busy with healthy activities helps keep them from looking for things to do.