anybody got kids, past or present i got questions

I raised 3 kids, now grown youngest is 29, oldest is 40.

What I found to work best is "You want something from me, I want something from you".

You want a cell phone. I want your room kept clean. A little messy is OK, but it must be clean.
You want to borrow the car. Before you can even consider that, your homework and household chores need to be done.
...and so on.

I've made it clear to each of them that life isn't free, and just about anything you want, or want to do has a value to it.

Your step daughters aren't too old to learn that lesson. They have responsibilities, for which you are willing to respond.

Some of the things that are EXPECTED, and are not negotiable, or rewardable are things like behavior. When Mom or Dad tell you to do something, you do it, out of respect, and good manners.

They will of course, fight back at first, but when you and they come to the understanding that just as they have expectations of you for a love, protection, a clean and stable home, good food, clothes, etc. You also have expectations of them. Respect, manners, help around the house. None of that should need to be requested. It is EXPECTED.

Once they learn that it really isn't so bad to spend 10 minutes helping with the dishes, or to keep their rooms clean, or to talk politely and respectfully to their elders and family, things usually settle down, until they reach their middle to late teens.

But, they have to learn while they are still young that life is a two way street, and you reap what you sow.