anybody got kids, past or present i got questions

Never raised a kid but you mention hyperactive....and someone threw in add/adhd. Was told by a few docs that add/adha in a child very well may lead to future mental health issues, in particular bi-polar. For that matter add/adhd & bi-polar share a lot of the same traits. One thing that helps me is a structure of sorts. And a routine. If one of you lets them get away with things and the other does not you will be forever in an uphill battle. If they truly do have some sort of a mental disease all the beating on them with a belt etc will do nothing as they do not process things like a normal person does. Just ask any one of my former bosses how well I responded to them when they threatened me, especially if I knew it was an empty threat.
Far be it from me to offer advice here........but.......you might want to seek the help of a trained mental health expert, one that specializes in children. Better to find out now that there chemistry set might be a bit off.....because if it is and you ignore it everyone involved will pay for it in one way or another......