Why do people Piss and Moan?

go and seek out a couples counselor. sometimes its easier to bring things up when theres somebody thats a sort of mediator between you both, then you can get everything out in the open, and air the dirty laundry so to speak, and so can she.

i know we are hearing your end of it, and i agree it sucks, but theres always 2 sides to every story.

if you both cant come to an agreement, and resolve things to be kind to one another about it, then its prob time for the big "D"

hell your kids are all grown up, so no child support there, they will prob need to move out and find their own places, as im sure the home you own was prob purchased while married, she is entitled to half the equity in it. most courts will order you to sell it, pay the bank whats owed on the loan if theres still a lein on it, and split whats left 50/50.

if she doesnt work and hasnt for years you may have to pay alimony to her. this depends on the state you are in, most states will require you to give her part of your pension, or 401K as well depending on the years married, usually works on a percentage scale based on years married. on the alimony issue some states require the alimony to get less and less every year till it stops altogether, this is so she starts looking for work, and the free ride is over, and if she remarries the alimony stops altogether.

as far as everything you both bought together while married, this includes any other property, vehicles, basically everything, it will all need to get appraised and if you both keep things of equal value its a wash, but if what you keep is of greater value, you will prob have to pay her half the value of what you keep, ditto for her as well.

if you are gonna go the route of the big "D", i suggest you start hiding cash, but not in a savings or checking account, and do not just deplete your savings account, as courts usually want the records of activity in these accounts for at least the last 12 months prior to a divorce filing. you will need to slowly syphon off the money a little each month so its not noticable, make it stash cash thats hidden in a box somewhere safe, but not in any account, or a safe deposit box.

little by little hide tangible things like some of your more expensive tools, and things that may have to be appraised as a divorce settlement. i have a friend who made his antique comic book collection take a vacation till his divorce was over. you will need to do this before you file, because standard operating procedure for an attorney is to send you a cease and desist letter preventing you from doing these things. so get your **** in order and hid before you file. then theres nothing to hide, because you already dun hid it all LOL. as i said you have to do this a little at a time so its not noticable, if its not there, theres nothing to appraise.

if you have a friend who is on the level that you trust, sell him your mopar if its your 3rd vehicle (wink wink) with the agreement he will sell it back when its all over, buy a cheapo beater, unless you have a different car to drive, i did this with my car. my friend held the title, and parked the car in his garage, we never signed the title or exchanged any money. when it was over he gave me my title and car back. if it comes up in court say it was nickle and diming you to death as its an old car, you got tired of fixing it, and you needed something newer and more reliable, but do this about 6 to 8 months before you file for divorce. this way you can tell the court you bought your new beater with the money from the sale of your old car. usually if theres only 2 vehicles in the marriage, she will keep hers, you will keep yours, and thats it. if your mopar is a 3rd vehicle it will end up being appraised, and you will end up owing her half of its value.

i had a folder full of NOS mopar parts reciepts for my dodge shelby Z, and shelves full of NOS parts. the parts went on vacation, and the reciept folder went with them. when it was over my friend let me have everything back. no parts, no part numbers, no reciepts, no cash values to total up. it never existed. i did this before i got a cease and desist letter from her attorney.

i know a lot on this as i got divorced 7 years ago. i married someone else 1 and a half years ago, she's nutty sometimes, but arent we all, i love her to death, she is great.

even so i made sure my home was payed off in full and the deed was in my hand before i got married this go around. texas law states that when you divorce, anything you own prior to marriage is not negotiable in divorce court, and is yours. anything given to you as a gift during the marriage is yours and not negotiable, this includes money or property that is a gift from a deceased loved ones estate.

check the laws in your state. but try a marriage counselor first, it may get you both to thinking about one another in a better light, plus its way cheaper and less of a headache in the end.

good luck

matt