who here has so many tools they forget what they have

You start this with me and we'll be here all week.

This is a TRUE story I SWEAR

Standing in my living room, talking to a friend, trying to get everything in my pants to leave. I look down at the end table, and go, "Oh damn."

My friend says "what?"

"Here's my cell holster only my phone isn't IN it."

"How many do ya need, yer talkin' to me on ONE of em!!!!!"