.. how to wire a 3-pole starter relay ? ..

The one spade must be for the key wire (yellow). Using alligator clips, ground the case to BATT-, touch a wire from BATT+ to the spade terminal. If you hear a click, that is the relay actuating, which should connect the big stud (thick red wire) to the solenoid wire (big brown). These are for cars without a NSS on the tranny. I think that would be a manual shift with NSS in the cabin (on floor shifter). The NSS disables the yellow wire instead of switching the ground side of the coil.