Poor Little Cone Style

"The spring holds the pressure against the side gears or cones and that creates the bind"
No

"if, if there was such torque sensing then the wheel would never lose traction and it would build indefinitely or until the carrier split in half"

Doesn't explain anything and is not an accurate representation of the architecture or the reactionary forces at work.

It is variable torque sensing system on a crude level.
The forces are:
Rotational force of the ring gear applied to the carrier and thus the pins or pin and differential rate of rotation of the axles. The combined forces cause the spider gears to push or ramp the gears of the cones away. Since the spider gears try to push the cones away when there is a difference in axle rotation vs torque applied to the ring gear carrier via the driveshaft, a varying and massive amount of pressure is applied to the cones.
This causes the cones to be gouged and rammed into the taper in the carrier and increasingly tighter as more force is applied to the spider gear ramp faces.