Life's most embarrassing car moments

when I was about 18 there was a small group of us, maybe half a dozen that would go out and burn gas and rubber almost daily
living out in the country we hit up a lot of dirt roads so there was always one of us with a 4X4 to pull us out of ditches, cornfields, hedges, whatever we got ourselves stuck in when we wiped out
(I really should let my buddy tell you this story, its in his top 3)
we all had CBs in our cars in order to stay in touch
there was this one field I had a habbit of playing on, hit a hard left of the dirt road, do a couple of donuts and jump across the dirt road, over the little bridge that went over the ditch and spin in the opposite field for a while
I guess the farmer who owned the field wasn't too happy with me doing this and one day decided to go ahead and take his bridge down

if my buddy in the 4x4 was telling this he would say all he heard was me cussing over the CB
he asked where i was and i said something about a bridge
so he drove over to the bridge and figures something isn't right, my one tail light is here (lifts his hand up about waist high) and the other is here (other hand shoulder high)
apparently my car just nose dove right into the ditch and was sitting almost straight up


another time we were out driving and my windows were fogged up something bad
i couldn't see anything
no worries, i proclaim, i know these roads like the back of my hand
so i hit the road behind my house which ends in an intersection, a road goes left, one goes right and the one going straight is actually the entrance to a air force base
im hauling as fast as i can, and come to a screeching halt at the intersection
i can barely see the white line where you are supposed to stop though my fogged up windows
turning left i punch it hard
spin the tires in first, shift into second and then the floor just dropped out from underneath me and the car ended up in the exact same position as in my previous story
turned out the white stripe i had seen was the one from the other side of the street (when you leave the airforce base) and instead of turning into the street i had crossed the street, stopped on their drive way and trenched the airforce base' front lawn before driving right into the moat like ditch that was in front of their fence
in less time then it would take to tell you this there are 4 MPs with guns drawn at my window, dragging us out of the car
didn't take them long to figure out we were only a threat to ourselves and they left us alone
we sat there for 45 minutes waiting for someone to help pull my car out of the ditch (you know the MPs couldn't be bothered) finally some hippy in an old and also very foggy VW van stopped and pulled us out


this one is a little more recent (just to show i don't learn, i guess)
at this time i wasn't driving a car but my KDX, a plated 2 stroke dirtbike with a head and tail light, no indicators, no rear view mirror
im minding my own business, sitting in the slow lane at a traffic light when this rice burner pulls up next to me in the fast lane
the light turns green and i pull out, next extremely fast but the import chirps the tires and pulls away from me
i shift into second full bore and set the bike up straight, passing the sweet-n-sour car with ease
i shift into third and the import make a right hand turn, tail between his legs
i shift into forth and only now let of the gas, dropping the front wheel back down to the ground
no sooner has my front tire made contact with the asphalt or the MARKED CRUISER behind me flicks on his lights
i pull over and got the biggest lecture i have ever had (and a ticket and 2 points on my license)
needless to say, i have since invested in a rear view mirror for the bike