When I read your symptoms, that fact that the passenger side goes down when you jack up the rear says that the passenger side is weak. I am thinking the passenger side is so weak that that the driver's side is being cranked all the way tight to take up almost all the front end load.
Sounds like the right procedure, but maybe something is a bit off on the passenger side clocking (indexing) of the T-bar.....I would be starting there. Is the rear of the pass. side T-bar set in right?
Unless something is broken, then if there is not any real torque on the passenger side T-bar, the rubber bushing in the LCA is probably what is keeping it from dropping far; the bushing rubber can offer a lot of torque resistance. (Just try moving the bar up or donw a lot without the T-bar installed and with the bushing locked into place; you will need a pipe to torque it very far.) With the T-bar properly clocked (indexed) then the T-bar will overcome the rubber bushing torque and drop the arm properly as the car is jacked up, like it sounds is happening on the driver's side.