Ball joint removal

You'll be fine without the washer. I have rarely see one used, and have discarded ones on another car that is driven long distance on rough roads where the same issue cropped up, with no problems.

Yes, the torque will seat everything in the tapered joints. Good deal on the new suspension!

BTW, you only torque the LCA shaft bolts after the car is on the ground and the t-bars are adjusted to final ride height. That locks the LCA bushings in the middle of their flex range.