guess what i am doing ughhhh

They actually make lifter puller tools. KD tools and Lisle used to make one. A long thin tool, you stick it down inside the recess in the lifter. You turn it, and the stem expands the end inside the lifter

https://www.google.com/search?newwindow=1&biw=1252&bih=611&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=%22valve+lifter+puller%22&oq=%22valve+lifter+puller%22&gs_l=img.3..0i24.35508.39059.0.39454.10.10.0.0.0.1.138.1031.0j9.9.0....0...1c.1.48.img..5.5.596.0B-Vr8waj2s