Car dying when the lights are turned on?

I'm not afraid of getting my "hands dirty". Nor do I plan to "stare at it". This is my brother's car and I am trying to help point him in the right direction. I'd rather pay you money to stay away. While I know you are joking, you are quite condescending. Unfortunate. Thanks everyone for your advice. It will get figured out.

I haven't "condescended" anybody. You wanted help and you don't seem to know. You seemed to start out throwing parts at it, and didn't detail what you have already checked. This is a two way road, here. The rest of us cannot see what you see, or know what you did.

If you want to pay me to stay away, then get out your checkbook, because it is REALLY gonna cost you.

Otherwise, take a breath and let's get to work.