oh no, is this 8.75 housing too bad?

There is nothing wrong with that rear. Most housings are not straight. The ends being offset just means it was narrowed correctly with a jig. I narrow rears and this is correct. What I have done for customers for a great deal more cash, is, cut the ends off, jig it, then heat and straighten the tubes by heating and bending. This is very common on rears that have a back brace installed (harder to straighten). The centerline of the carrier does not care where the tubes are located but the centerline of the axle/bearing end is critical.

I hear what you're saying, but given that I can't even fit a seal in it it's so bad, and that the booger welds oozed into the inside and created their own new edge where the seal is supposed to seat, I really doubt this was done by someone who knew what they were doing. I did reach someone locally who does mostly 9" ford rears, but he thinks he can make his jig work. He should be able to tell me if it's that bent or not.