Hemi Swap Info
If they gave you the info that they used to successfully modify their harness, short of doing it for you, it seems to me they have done everything they can to help you.
As nice as it would be to have a simple pinout for a harness, its much too complicated for that. Pinouts change between ECU's and models as mentioned, optional systems muddy it up even more.
Paring down a factory harness in a retrofit is going to be extremely time consuming.