I was thinking that too. Didn't have any tools in the car (shame on me), so I tried beating on it with my cell phone. Not my finest moment. Phone is ok, but burnt the crap out of my hand on the exhaust manifold...which would be a much better story if it had been headers.
There's a u-pullit yard near me. Would it be worth grabbing a mini starter out of a 90's Dakota/Ram? It's $10 vs $80-100 (depending on the Advance Auto coupon code).