Electrical Short - What Just Happened?!

Definitely. I had to go look for pictures of temporary terminals to see if I had them. Of course, I found 800 different options, and got more confused. Stupid internet.

Temporary terminals are those stupid things that have the little strap of metal over the top of the bare cable to hold it to the lead part that goes over the batter posts.
Still, even if you don't have those your symptoms were exactly as if you did have those connections but one or both were not connecting well.

A little diagnostic trick for you, is that when something like a battery terminal is the cause the offending terminal will usually be warmer than the other. (sometimes even hot enough to burn you, so touch quickly at first)

Also an intermittent total loss of power for no apparent reason that happens when you try to start the engine is almost ALWAYS a bad connection at the battery, starter or ground points of the battery cables.

This is the kind that are about the worst ones, and you can see why in this picture.
Look at the condition of the cables where they go under the strap, and I'll bet you anything this guy had the same problems you did.