Fart and Dart

verb: To fart and leave others to enjoy the fumes.

Having perfected this technique years ago in the service, I thought it would be an excellent time once again to exploit this wasted talent. While grocery shopping with the wife I have determined I cannot put anything in the shopping cart. this included anything that contained alcohol, tobacco products, anything that would serve as instant gratification such as chips, slim jims and or beef jerky, and no reading material that contains more pictures then words. Another words just a pack mule, put the sacks in the back of the car. Next week and help with a breakfast burrito I was ready, timing is ever so critical. Third aisle, yes she bends down to the lower shelves and checks her coupons, bombs away. Slowly I move ahead with the cart, I turn around and much to my surprise and delight there was another lady reaching for area where my wife was......the looks they gave each other was way too much for me to bare. I quickly egress myself around the corner, and tried to contain my laughter. Needless to say the rest of the shopping and the ride home was in angered silence, but I still had my smirk on my face. And I was never asked to go shopping again, I say a job well done.

Great Spirits Have Always Encountered Violent Opposition From Mediocre Minds
Albert Einstein