Ok I'm stumped. Rear end help please!

Good call, Kim
Grab the yoke stump and squeeze. The load will distribute the checking fluid, and make reading it much easier and more accurate. I have big hands, so I grab it with my left hand. I place the stump down at the rooy where my thumb meets the pointer finger.Then I wrap the other 3 fingers around the nose of the case, and squeeze it to my palm, to anchor it. Then I can vary the load by squeezing my thumb and pointer.
I have also used a leather belt wrapped around that same stump, but it's harder to control.