Slow learner...

Dang, junkie. - Sounds like you ain't having much fun at all! Seriously though you actually sound like you've got your head screwed on better than a lot of other folks.

I'm not a big fan of meds. I know they've got their place but by themselves they're like putting a band-aid on a deep wound. They may provide immediate benefits but when you remove them the underlying problem still exists.

I commend you for your willingness to try all the things you have. A lot of people would focus blame on everyone around them for their anger and deny they have a problem. - Ya, it sounds that you've got some major issues but you're not alone. Read through the threads. There are more than a few people here that are quick to anger. You're at least stepping up and owning it.

The meds may be helping but environment is a key factor in any long term relief. - And the environment is everywhere. Everyone you meet, the weather, the house you live in, your job, shows you watch on TV, etc, etc... Many of them are bound to drive a person a little crazy. Whenever you can, - make changes that improve that environment.

Although I don't consider myself prone to anger, I do get mad. Often it's over things I should shrug off but I let them get under my skin. I'm more likely to suffer depression and I find that I need to distance myself from the things that bring me down. I also try to re-focus my attention on other things (such as the garage projects) instead of allowing myself to dwell on whatever else was bugging me. It tends to have a secondary benefit. Building stuff helps to develop a sense of accomplishment and prevents the feeling that I'm stuck in some hellish world where every day is just a repeat of the day before.

You'd said that you tried meditation and tried 'finding God'. I'm not sure what that all entailed. Personally I think that without God I'd have become a real a**hole. - More than what I am now. My beliefs have helped instill in me a concern for others that helps to keep me from only focusing on what's going on with me. - But I've had to acknowledge that the best choices to make are not always what's in my own best interests.

Once when I was feeling really down because of management where I worked, a friend of mine told me to simply 'consider the source'. What he wanted to convey to me was that I shouldn't let myself place too much importance on things that others are doing or saying if they're not the type of people whose opinions I would respect.

Hang in there.