Another Mopar Off My Bucket List

Another Mopar Off My Bucket List - Barracuda Fastback

I should have opted for a bullet to the head instead of going to the doc. Teresa brought the horde home with her when she returned from babysitting. All night long I suffered in agony while the monsters rummaged through the house looking for things to destroy. I holed up in one of the bathrooms trying to escape the carnage. Sleeping in the tub might have been a good option but the noise became unbearable around 2 a.m. With a throbbing headache I headed out to the crew cab to get some relief.

I was woke up early in the morning by the sound of Teresa's kids arriving. Unbeknownst to me they had planned to have a garage sale today at our house. They brought with them the rest of the pack that weren't here to torment me yesterday. SOMEBODY, PLEASE SHOOT ME!!!

With the driveway full of my project cars they set up across the front lawn. Unable to get any rest I chose to hide in the garage where I could avoid the majority of the chaos. Teresa's kids & grandkids don't talk, - they yell. They yell EVERYTHING! Every other word out of her son's mouth is preceded by F@%K, F@%KING, or F@%KED. The riots in Ferguson seemed peaceful compared to the scene outside. I'm sure the constant swearing could be heard for a two block radius from our house.

I'm not usually politically correct. I don't consider myself to be high society. But I don't want to be a blight on the community. Sure, I've got cars in the driveway that I work on and my lawn isn't perfectly manicured but I don't feel I'd scare most people away. - 7 hours since the mayhem started and I'm surprised I haven't seen FOR SALE signs going up on every neighbor's property by now.

I guess I'm not too old to cry...