Stop in for a cup of coffee

Is it normal to not get barely any sleep after losing a spouse? I have been averaging about 3 hours sleep every night since Dee died. Also is normal to wish that when I do sleep that I do not ever want to wake up? Just wondering. I have been very much alone since before Dee died and the "friends" Dee and I had when she was alive have been invisible and have not even inquired as to how Gina and I are doing. Maybe that's how it is in the south? Or maybe because they are all married couples they do not want to bother with a grieving old man. But when times were better they had no problem asking for help with broken appliances which I gladly helped them with including providing them with free service and repairs and one couple a stainless kitchen makeover for free. But they did not even have the decency to show up at Dee's memorial. I do not know. I just know that life is a very lonely place and I feel as though I have been sentenced to a life of emptiness. I literally feel that life has no meaning anymore. Sorry about this post or if I have offended anyone.