Stop in for a cup of coffee

Is it normal to not get barely any sleep after losing a spouse? I have been averaging about 3 hours sleep every night since Dee died. Also is normal to wish that when I do sleep that I do not ever want to wake up? Just wondering. I have been very much alone since before Dee died and the "friends" Dee and I had when she was alive have been invisible and have not even inquired as to how Gina and I are doing. Maybe that's how it is in the south? Or maybe because they are all married couples they do not want to bother with a grieving old man. But when times were better they had no problem asking for help with broken appliances which I gladly helped them with including providing them with free service and repairs and one couple a stainless kitchen makeover for free. But they did not even have the decency to show up at Dee's memorial. I do not know. I just know that life is a very lonely place and I feel as though I have been sentenced to a life of emptiness. I literally feel that life has no meaning anymore. Sorry about this post or if I have offended anyone.
Absolutely it's normal. While everyone grieves in their own way, it's not uncommon to lose sleep or not sleep at all. Especially a spouse where everything in the house reminds you of them. You'll adapt eventually. Best thing you can do is tell yourself that Dee would want you not to stress over her and that she is in a better and happy place.

As for your so called friends. Ive always thought that in tines of tragedy, that's when you learn who is truly your friend. It sucks. Really does.

I don't you personally but do know this, I'll gladly make myself available if you need or want to vent and relieve some pressure to someone.

Depression is no joke. If you feel yourself losing control and thinking of bad things, please, for your daughters sake as well as yours call someone. Heck call me.

Good luck and God bless