I did name both ex-wives and all children. I didn't go into who was born, when, or who Dad legally adopted, because that would be complicated and lengthy to write and I don't think Dad would want an obituary that emphasized those details. I even emailed my siblings a draft before I had it published, however she had changed her email without notifying me so she didn't get it.
I kept it simple and dignified, everyone else thought it was a beautiful piece, she just has to have attention.