Stop in for a cup of coffee

So many times, the customer causes the thing they are complaining about..."the meal took forever..." Well, you were late for your reservation, so now other tables have arrived that we have to serve too, You kept the server standing there waiting for you to finish your small-talk conversations with each other, you didn't know what you wanted to drink, you asked a lot of questions, you had allergies we had to fill out a special sheet (not actually allergic, just don't like something,) you left the table when we about to serve the entrees, you forgot to say you didn't want sour cream on your loaded potato......oh, we should have told you that we want separate checks, but I'd like to pay for all the drinks on a separate card....I have this gift card, I don't know what the value of it is...(it has a balance on it of $5.72....)
don't you people know who I am!!!??