Alignment Question

Looks like they don't know what the hell they're doing to me!

Positive camber on the left, negative camber on the right, .24 degrees of total toe. Ouch. Too much toe, camber is totally screwed up. The toe isn't horrible enough that it'll scrub the tires off but it's too much. And, there's absolutely no reason why the camber should be positive on one side and negative on the other. That just tells me they have NO idea what they're doing.

I mean, I would understand if they set it to the factory specs, which are wrong for use radial tires. It's not good, but I would get it because that's what the computer would say. But they didn't even do that.

You need to find another alignment shop. For radials you should be using this chart for alignment specs. You can run more positive caster than called for here if you can get it, I'd add 1 degree to their recommendations for the granny and street settings. More for autoX but you'd need something other than stock UCA's to get more than that.
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That's kind of my feeling on the total report, wasn't even close to the specs sheet. I didn't mind them doing the labor work on the parts provided to them from me but to trust them into doing the Alignment I wasn't sure on how close it would turn out.