Well, my wife's parents have finally come to the same conclusion regarding my dumb-*** BIL that we have.
It's time for a family exit plan to disconnect from him. Since the liver transplant he has reverted to being the same dumb-*** he was that got him into the situation where he needed the transplant in the first place. He is eating his opiate pain killers like candy forcing the hospital to put him on methadone, belligerent and demanding toward his caregivers, ungrateful for all the financial help (running into the 10s of thousands of dollars), refuses to rest or take his care plan seriously...and more. Facing imminent death for 3 years waiting for a liver apparently made no dent in his selfish pea brain.
Last Friday he nearly OD'd on his insulin (because he screwed it up and didn't eat) and then after being found unconscious in a neighbors car by the police and rushed to the hospital, demanded that we come get him, take him home and get new keys made for his apartment (that is in my name and I pay for) since he lost them somewhere.
Enough is enough. 3 years of our lives and over $30k giving him a second chance and he has no respect or real gratitude for any of it. I only agreed to do this for his (my wife's) mother and she is one now seeing the light and being the one pulling the plug.
I always said that I would make sure nothing happened to him while his Mother was alive...but now she is ordering the end of it and I am more than happy to execute her wishes to cut him off permanently. No more Beno, the Godmother has ordered your exile from the family.