Stop in for a cup of coffee
My Mother-in-law is here for the next two weeks. She is a wonderful lady and I'm happy to have her here. We haven't seen her for nearly 2 years since we have been dealing with supporting my brother-in-law and his liver cancer and eventual transplant. She couldn't visit because the stress was sending her BP up to dangerous levels when dealing with him and the illness (plus his being a complete idiot).
Now that he has the new liver, she is able to visit without stress and has come to the same conclusion that we have about him being an idiot and just letting him live the rest of his life however he wants...without all of us.
It's like we gave the dumb-*** BIL a two year ride to get him home during a storm (liver transplant) and now that we have dropped him off...we can forget about him again.
And everyone here finds that thought completely liberating...
What a kawinky dink. We too have the dual mother-and-brother-in-law illness phenomenon going in spades right now. Mom Short is a championship hypochondriac and now that she's 82 it's not hypochondria anymore: She's totally feeble from years of sofa surfing, she's had several bad falls, several broken bones, can't drive anymore, can't take care of herself anymore, and won't try. Then, my brother-in-law...Well, he's a case. She and he are totally co-dependent. So, Mom gets pneumonia, and we hadda get her out of there. Had her in the hospital in Pittsburgh a while. Somebody there advised the county she intended to go home and live alone, and they stepped in to say say NO: If we don't do something, they will. Well, good: We been tryin' to get her out of there for years, and we, and Sharon's sister and her husband, and the other brother, all have accomodations prepared for Mom, ready to go. But it's not near that easy. And when you get Mom, you get the codependent one. Then he ups and has a major heart attack while plantin' marigolds right here alongside our driveway. I haven't had a minute since May.
Welp: Alls I can say is, I'm with ya', man, and there are no easy answers. I have to think your idea of just leavin' him in the hasta isn't going to work. It's never that easy. As Tom Hanks said in A League of Their Own: It's supposed to be hard; if it was easy everybody'd do it.
One thing about synchronicity though - When it runs high, it's an indication you're making correct decisions. I think that was Sartre. That or K Steele.