Things your Dad used to say.

These are some of the things my mothers father used to say. He was born 1910 had a hard life and didn't die until 1989 at 79. He was a good man and as I get older I realize how wise he was.
That guy is about as useful as a one legged man in an *** kicking contest.
I was born at night but not last night.
That is about as useful as tits on a boar.
I was boxed in like a turtle's pecker.
That guy was so tight with his money he was as tight as a frog's *** and that's water tight.
That guy is about as sharp as a bowling ball.
If you've never failed at anything you've never really tried.
We could all use a little more humility.
Don't do anything to anyone you wouldn't want done to you.
Your word is your bond.