Stop in for a drink.
Ok you can't make this up, which by the way is the working title of a book I have rattling around in my head I want to write someday. So I took off early today getting my act together for MITP this weekend. We finally had some hot weather (for us) of almost 80 degrees today. Got home and wanted something cool to sip. Busted out my go to summer drink, gin and lemonade. Yummy. Perhaps I have had more than one this afternoon. So I get the munchies and go in the house and toast a bagel. Prowling the fridge trying decide peanut butter or honey or what have you to put on top. I spy the aluminum foil wrapper of what can only be philly cream cheese. It passes the sniff test and shows no signs of mold which I think to myself is odd as I know I have not had any in weeks (1st clue). I toast the bagel and spread the philly on, it spreads super easy and is soft (2nd clue). The cheese melts funny but did not register (3rd clue). I woof 1/2 the bagel down thinking to myself man the cheese is flat (4th clue). As I am preparing to eat more it dawns on me my mustache is slimed (final clue). I grab my bifocals and put them on to see WTF and can now actually read the wrapper, yep I have topped my bagel with crisco shortening wife had stashed in cheese drawer. At this point what the heck, I scraped off remaking crisco and ate the rest of it. Note to self, when making snacks always wear your glasses!