Things your Dad used to say.

My maternal grandfather and my stepfather provided most of mine. My stepfather would say them in German (how he first learned them), and if he wasn’t ready to strangle me, he would repeat them in English.
1. To soon old and too late smart.
2. Born dumb and stayed that way.
3. About as useful as a 5th wheel on a wagon.
4. The difference between (insert a name here) and a bucket of **** is the bucket!
5. Gott Verdamt, Junge! (GD, Kid!)
6. Pick a series of German cuss words and follow that with, “Don’t you understand English!”
7. Colder than a well driller’s ***.
8. Raining as hard as a cow pissing on a flat rock.
9. An aggressive farm animal (or person) was “full of piss and vinegar.”
10. And when he really had enough of my bright ideas, the last phrase was “Bullshit, Robert!”