Stop in for a cup of coffee

That is a yuppy mower and a half. :poke::poke:

Where do you even buy something like that. Definitely not the average Jane places I shop like Lowe's, home depot, and tractor supply.

That looks like something you can get through sky mall or duty free shopping network.
Swisher Finish Cut Pull-Behind Mower — 344cc Briggs & Stratton Powerbuilt Engine, 44in. Deck, Model# FC10544BS | Northern Tool