Good work man it is hard. Iv been there. I don't share this often but I am (was) an alcoholic. I dont mean drink a beer or two I mean 12+ everyday. It got to the point where it consumed me that is all I wanted to do. I lost interest in literally everything else. I went thru a very dark place and a very hard time but one day I said enough is enough I want my life back and checked myself in. I did all the steps rehab, AA all that good stuff. I was 30 years old and had not went a day since I was probably around 18 or so without a drink of something. The first 48 hours was the hardest. It was miserable I layed in a bed sweating and freezing at the same time I thought I was dying. I'm proud to say this December will be 5 years sober. I havent so much as smelled alcohol. It hasn't been easy and there are times I'm tempted but I always so no I'm not going back down that road. Keep at it man and feel free to contact me if you need any support. Oh and btw I quit smoking , dipping, and drinking all at the same time. You can do it!!