I think they should have a handicap rule for players under 6 ft. tall. Or they all have to be the same height and weight or it isn't fair if the tall guys win. What about the faster player has to carry an extra 50 lbs to make it fair if the fast guy wins.
But we can't let anybody win, because that would mean there is a loser, and that might hurt his or her feelings and we can't have that. After all, we're ALL winners... here's your trophy.
