I must step away from FABO for a while
First of all I know you lost the one you care about most, and the one that cared about you most. That can't be replaced. But you should look at the posts before this one and realize there are a BUNCH of people that care about you. Next you should think about what she would want you to do. It will take a while to get your feet under you, but give yourself time. And don't turn your back on FABO. There are a lot of folks here who have a good view to help you through this ordeal. One day at a time, or maybe one hour at a time. We'll help you get through this. All the best, Wayne