I must step away from FABO for a while
Hang in there Mike, it will get easier with time and will get better, you never really get over a loss like this but you can learn to live with it and I promise you, it will get easier. Maybe you can find a group to help deal with your feelings? After I lost my mom to suicide it was total hell, found a group to visit with and have been going for 5 years now and it really helped. It’s also ok to feel sad and get a good cry out, that does help. Remember the good memories, I’m sure she would want you to be happy and smile again. Prayers sent for you and don’t stay away from us for too long!