Respectfully request advice as newly divorced dad

I think your first priority should be the restoration of your marriage. In the long run, just about any amount of money is meaningless. With easy credit, problems come easier than ever. Many people run away rather than face their problems. Maybe that is what your wife did. Perspective can be very helpful. Did you have a good marriage otherwise? Do you and her want it to continue? Is this really serious enough to end your marriage and face all the consequences that go with that?

I would beware of any actions that escalate the problem. Once The escalating starts, it is almost irreversible. Things said can be hard to retract. Try and work it out. If you involve a lawyer, he or she will immediately start telling you about your rights. The same will happen with your wife. Pretty soon you are both mad as hell and lawyers wind up with all the money, which is really bizarre, since that is what you are fighting about. In the end you lose twice, once the first time and second when you give the rest of it to the lawyers.

Getting divorced over money is completely counter productive. In the end, money is worthless, friends and family matter. If you are a car guy, I know you are a problem solver. Use those skills to assess the situation and move toward a solution.

If you have a church, seek counseling there. If not, ask a friend to recommend one. If you are not a praying man, now would be an excellent time to start. I will pray that you have the wisdom to choose the right path.