Last one to post in this thread wins!

Soooo my 30 year old Ram wont start. After I bought it last Friday I drove it around a little. I stopped at the car wash and pressure washed the engine bay. Drove it about 5 miles after that. I did not try to start it after that. A strange thing did happen though. While I was crawling around underneath it a humming noise started emulating from under there. The key was in the off position. I crawled out from underneath and cycled the key to the run position and back to off and the humming noise subsided. It had to be the fuel pump. The humming was coming from that area and did sound like a fuel pump. NOW I don't hear the fuel pump run and pouring fuel down the throttle body does not induce combustion. Any Ideas? I suck at drivability diagnostics. I did check the rotor and distributor and there is some corrosion. Might throw those parts at it.
The two relays on the left fender energize when the key is turned to the run position. Might throw a couple relays at it too.