Last one to post in this thread wins!

I think I remember my dad relieving the pressure under his fingernail by burning a hole through it with a hot paperclip. Not sure if it worked. I've torn 2 fingernails completely off and have on that wont stop splitting catch part of that once in a while, Just the other day I chucked up a vice-grip and clamped the nail in the vise grip and yanked it out by the root. Done that a half a dozen times I suppose.
Damn that hurts all the way over here.